From Depth Dimension and Journaling
11/11/1992
Roshi – Almost exactly eight years later we continue your inner wisdom dialog.
Kenzan – Yes. And I think now the dialog is going to be with somebody called the Inner Guru.
Roshi – OK. Let’s try it.
Inner Guru – Hello, I am the inner guru.
Kenzan – Hello. I don’t think I’ve ever spoken with you before.
IG – No, I don’t think you have. I am a new entity that has come into existence since your last visit to the Inner Wisdom Dialog 8 years ago. In fact, I have probably come into existence since you lost your job at Avnet a little over a year ago
K – Who are you? Do you represent or come from any particular school?
IG – I am you. I am your Inner Guide or Guru. I transcend all schools and orthodoxies. I am emptiness manifesting as wisdom. Prajna Paramita.
K – We’ll, that’s nice. Any particular messages for me right now?
IG – Yes. Continue to pursue your job search diligently.
K – Wow!
IG – Yes. It is your vehicle for awakening, for breaking the narrow bonds of your little self.
K – How is that?
IG – Dharma in the sense of duty. Really taking care of exactly what needs to be done in your life. Being totally at one with karma, cause and effect.
K – Makes me want to talk about this with my wife.
IG – Hold your water and stay with this conversation a little more.
K – Why?
IG – Because this is the penetration. This is the “little click” Roshi was talking about (at lunch) Saturday.
K – I thought it would be different.
IG – We always do.
K – So what do I do next?
iG – You knew when you asked. Finish your CASE final that’s due this evening, then get back to the job search and pick it up exactly where you left off.
K – OK.
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8/2/1996
IG – Now that Roshi has died I really am the answer to the question “Who is my teacher now? Do I have one?”.
K – Yes. And I haven’t realized this until picking up this dialog today.
IG – I am here for you. And you can dialog with me whenever you want.
K – It’s not like having a living teacher who is a real human being out in the world.
IG – Yes and no. I am not different and separate from yourself. I am alive and in the world. I am just not “the other”.
K – It just feels different to not have somebody outside to depend on. This reminds me of the note I wrote to myself yesterday: “I need to clarify how I feel about empowerment/authorization to teach (or lack of same) in the lineage where I have studied for 24 years (9/1/72-96).
IG – Well, I seem like a strangely appropriate person to discuss this with. Because my growth and development may be the alternative to lack of externally conferred empowerment.
K – Maybe. Seems very tricky. Let’s just let it percolate for a while.
IG – Yes, you’re right. There is a clear danger of self-delusion. I need to stand forth as the authentic inner guru. Beyond doubt.
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8/6/1996
K – So I just worked in Spiritual Steppingstones for the first time since 1984. And now at p. 281-2, moving to Inner Wisdom Dialog, it’s obvious, Dear Roshi, that I need to dialog with you.
MR – Dear Kenzan, it is a pleasure to be here with you for the first time since my passing.
K – Roshi, where are you?
MR – I’m right here with you. I am inside you, although as you know, inside & outside are transcended.